I'm in Uni now, have been for 6 months. I swear, I had no idea how uni just swallows your life. Free time? What's that?

My exam results are coming in three days time. I know I passed - but was it barely? Only time will tell. *dun dun dun* (I just felt it needed the cheesy sound effects.)

I've managed to get a hold of Viva la Vida! OOH! AMBIENT GOODNESS.

I don't know the diddly-doo where my life is heading and it's really scaring me.

The prospect of the future is making my stomach churn in agony and I'm currently foreseeing myself as a hobo - jobless, homeless & friendless.

Scary.

Today was really awful.

I got out of bed really early because I had terrible stomach cramps.

I feel sad, because Sarah and Britney are complete bitches. They told everyone I have an STD, just because I slept with both of their boyfriends on Saturday night.

I'm so angry. Paul is grounded. AGAIN! And I'm not allowed to see him. EVER. It's just NOT FAIR. I hate my mom and I wish she was dead. This wouldn't happen if I was allowed to live with dad.

Last night I had to go and pay Joshua's bail. He's such a jerk. He got arrested for punching the Walmart clerk in the face for refusing to sell him beer. He's only 16!

I want to tell the world that I'm gay.

I am making this journal friends only because I don't want the world to read what I'm writing, even though I'm posting it on the internet.

Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! I'm so ugly. Don't look at my photos pleeeeeze.

I want to say thanks to the world for absolutely fucking nothing! You all suck. I feel so alone, no one ever reads this journal, or even comments to let me know that I'm not suffering alone. It's cold here, and I want to die, but I cannot figure out how many of you to take with me when I go.

I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have bipolar disorder, which makes me different enough to be interesting, but the same as all the other cool people with bipolar disorder.

That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with this thought - sharing your life with strangers on the internet is the cheapest form of therapy available. Leave a comment and tell me I'm beautiful.

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You Are 1: The Reformer

You're a responsible person - with a clear sense of right and wrong. High standards are important to you, and you do everything to meet them. You are your own worst critic, feeling ashamed if you're not perfect. You have the highest integrity, and people expect you to be fair.

Shockers of all shockers! I am actually updating! And as can be seen from FP, I barely update (Aargh! Guilt!). I'd say "In my defense..." but I don't really have a good enough reason apart from writers block. Is that a good reason?

Anyway, am pleased to announce that Fighting Against Cliché Chapter Six is nearly finished and I am going to send it to Plinky as she agreed to be my beta for the story (how awesome can she get?) and Fill My Little World Chapter One is half way done.

It's a good thing I'm not a real writer! Imagine what would happen if I had to face all those deadline - I'd try to get everything done last minute and end up with nothing finished and then I would be kicked out, penniless, starving in the streets, singing 'She loves you yeah, yeah, yeah' with a tin cup for collecting coins. And that would be the end of my writing career.

Yup, it's a good thing I'm not a writer.

Today I discovered Harry and the Potters and Draco and the Malfoys. Squee! Cuteness. I then went and checked, and there's actually a Ron and the Weasleys, The Hermione Crookshanks Experience and The Whomping Willows. This Wizard Rock Movement is way too adorable (I know my sister will roll her eyes at me for this...but I love these kind of things! There's such a sweetness to it).

In other news, I have got a paper cut from a watermelon. Yes, a watermelon. All I know was that I was eating the watermelon (in the D shape) and the outer end (The green part) suddenly cut my skin. It's weird, because I was the one who chopped the watermelon using a huge knife, and nothing happened to me, but then when I eat the watermelon, I get cut.

Such things always happen to me. I get cut by the strangest things.

Grease is coming here! Grease is coming here! Grease is coming here!

GREASE!! (which is equivalent to the absolute love)

WOOOHOOO!

Too bad I can't go to see them. Don't you just hate exams? They get in the way of everything.

This has been going around livejournal and I thought (being the sad music obsessed freak that I am) that I should try it as well.

Instructions: Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. No cheating.

1. How does the world see you?
Joy to the World - Three Dog Night. Haha, I got my sister's "80's" song. How cool. And random. My ego has enlarged due to this.

2. Will I have a happy life?
In the Sun - Joseph Arthur. Oh gosh "I picture you in the sun, wondering what went wrong." Not good.

3. What do my friends really think of me?
Sugar Pie Honey Bunch - The Temptations. Awww, sweet.

4. Do people secretly lust after me?
Heavenly - The Dandy Warhols. Not sure what this one means. But I love the Dandy Warhols they are the epitome of coolness.

5. How can I make myself happy?
Over my head (cable car) - the Fray. Again, no idea what this means. Should I be over my head to be happy? That's strange.

6. What should I do with my life?
All I have to do is dream - Paul Anka. All right! Score!

7. What is some good advice for me?
You get what you give - New Radicals. Makes sense. It is good advice!

8. How will I be remembered?
Scar Tissue - Red Hot Chilli Peppers. I'm not even going to try and make sense of this. I'll just enjoy the song.

9. What is my signature dancing song?
Bohemian Rasphody - Queen. Actually, it's 'Come on Eileen - Dexy's Midnight Runners' but hey, this is an awesome song, so I do not mind at all.

10. What do I think my current theme song is?
Sweet Dreams - Eurythmics. Whoa. "Some of them want to use you, some of them want to be used by you."  I know the first one has always been true, but the latter? I would never use anyone, sorry to disappoint dahlings.

11. What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Night time is the right time - Ray Charles. I'm laughing my head off over here. Pure awesomeness.

12. What song will play at my funeral?
Rebels of the Sacred Heart - Flogging Molly. "Now I'm aiming for heaven, but probably wind up in hell." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

13. What type of men/women do you like?
Robert De Niro's Waiting - Bananarama. Well, I do like older men, and I did have a crush of Robert De Niro once. Sooo....*blushes*

14. What is my day going to be like?
Hakuna Matata - Disney's Lion king. YAY!!!!!!

I had too much fun with this. It's the cuteness time a thousand.

This is love harth.

I seem to be going on a iharthdarth obsession.

The doctor said that I have a sensitive throat. Which is why I have tonsilitis once again.

Currently, it's rather painful to swallow, but luckily not to the extent that I am drooling excesively (as I was three months ago).

I am on medication again, which means that I am daydreaming far too much than I should be. And, I feel like a druggie.

I swear to god my immune system is full of peace-loving, drug-induced hippies. My B-cells probably have a peace sign rather than proper nucleus'.

Except my tonsils, of course, which are like 'HUZZAH! LET'S ATTACK EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING!'. They've probably soaked up any viciousness from the rest of my immune system.

Darn those tonsils.

ENFJs are the benevolent 'pedagogues' of humanity. They have tremendous charisma by which many are drawn into their nurturant tutelage and/or grand schemes. Many ENFJs have tremendous power to manipulate others with their phenomenal interpersonal skills and unique salesmanship. But it's usually not meant as manipulation -- ENFJs generally believe in their dreams, and see themselves as helpers and enablers, which they usually are.

ENFJs are global learners. They see the big picture. The ENFJs focus is expansive. Some can juggle an amazing number of responsibilities or projects simultaneously. Many ENFJs have tremendous entrepreneurial ability.

ENFJs are, by definition, Js, with whom we associate organization and decisiveness. But they don't resemble the SJs or even the NTJs in organization of the environment nor occasional recalcitrance. ENFJs are organized in the arena of interpersonal affairs. Their offices may or may not be cluttered, but their conclusions (reached through feelings) about people and motives are drawn much more quickly and are more resilient than those of their NFP counterparts.

ENFJs know and appreciate people. Like most NFs, (and Feelers in general), they are apt to neglect themselves and their own needs for the needs of others. They have thinner psychological boundaries than most, and are at risk for being hurt or even abused by less sensitive people. ENFJs often take on more of the burdens of others than they can bear.
TRADEMARK: "The first shall be last"

This refers to the open-door policy of ENFJs. One ENFJ colleague always welcomes me into his office regardless of his own circumstances. If another person comes to the door, he allows them to interrupt our conversation with their need. While discussing that need, the phone rings and he stops to answer it. Others drop in with a 'quick question.' I finally get up, go to my office and use the call waiting feature on the telephone. When he hangs up, I have his undivided attention!

Functional Analysis:
Extraverted Feeling

Extraverted Feeling rules the ENFJ's psyche. In the sway of this rational function, these folks are predisposed to closure in matters pertaining to people, and especially on behalf of their beloved. As extraverts, their contacts are wide ranging. Face-to-face relationships are intense, personable and warm, though they may be so infrequently achieved that intimate friendships are rare.
Introverted iNtuition

Like their INFJ cousins, ENFJs are blessed through introverted intuition with clarity of perception in the inner, unconscious world. Dominant Feeling prefers to find the silver lining in even the most beggarly perceptions of those in their expanding circle of friends and, of course, in themselves. In less balanced individuals, such mitigation of the unseemly eventually undermines the ENFJ's integrity and frequently their good name. In healthier individuals, deft use of this awareness of the inner needs and desires of others enables this astute type to win friends, influence people, and avoid compromising entanglements.

The dynamic nature of their intuition moves ENFJs from one project to another with the assurance that the next one will be perfect, or much more nearly so than the last. ENFJs are continually looking for newer and better solutions to benefit their extensive family, staff, or organization.
Extraverted Sensing

Sensing is extraverted. ENFJs can manage details, particularly those necessary to implement the prevailing vision. These data have, however, a magical flexible quality. Something to be bought can be had for a song; the same something is invaluable when it's time to sell. (We are not certain, but we suspect that such is the influence of the primary function.) This wavering of sensory perception is made possible by the weaker and less mature status with which the tertiary is endowed.
Introverted Thinking

Introverted Thinking is least apparent and most enigmatic in this type. In fact, it often appears only when summoned by Feeling. At times only in jest, but in earnest if need be, Thinking entertains as logical only those conclusions which support Feeling's values. Other scenarios can be shown invalid or at best significantly inferior. Such "Thinking in the service of Feeling" has the appearance of logic, but somehow it never quite adds up.

Introverted Thinking is frequently the focus of the spiritual quest of ENFJs. David's lengthiest psalm, 119, pays it homage. "Law," "precept," "commandment," "statute:" these essences of inner thinking are the mysteries of Deity for which this great Feeler's soul searched.

[Scarily true.

link to test is here].

I haven't updated in ages! Wow, I've been so busy posting around communities, I forgot to post in my own journal, how sad is that?

I've basically been icon hunting as of late. I think I'm stunned beyond words at how talented people are when it comes to making icons. I can't help but feel awed. Maybe one day, when I try to make my own icon and stop being the lazy procrastinator everyone knows I am, I'll be able to make one almost as good as theirs. There's no harm in trying.

Hmm...I've been thinking of writing another story (even though both FAC and F3 are nowhere near finished). It's going to be a love/hate story with a twist. But I'm not sure if I should start it yet, I sort of feel as though I should first finish FAC and improve my writing in order to write this one, because it will be quite a challenge.

Plus, I doubt I'll have time to write three stories at once anyway.

Oh well.

Art exam in four days time! I might as well get myself used to my chosen artist's style, no matter how much I hate him.

This is written in memory of a friend who was murdered this weekend. May God bless his soul.

I feel so drained. I can't believe someone I know, someone I talked to, someone my age was murdered, just because he stuck up for his friend. This world is just disgusting me right now.

It's really sad because he died so nobly - standing up for his friend. I have no words to describe my grief, and that's scary because writing is the one thing that I can always rely on. I don't know whether I should cry, whether I should scream, whether I should just accept what happened and move on.

But I can't move on. This is only meant to happen in stories, in movies, in the news to someone you never knew and never will. It's not meant to happen to someone you have classes with, someone whom you expect to see everyday of the semester.

I want to cry but the tears refuse to fall, the shock is just so overwhelming, I can't seem to get out of this state of numbness. My brains protecting me right now, that I understand, but I know that when the shock goes away the anger, the sadness, the sorrow will be too much to cope with.

I want answers. Why him? Why now? Why? What's wrong with us humans, why are we just so sickening?

Someone, please reassure me. Lie to me, tell me things will get easier, that the world isn't such a bad place. I need lies right now. I need reassurance. I need hope.

This is the first time I've joined a community like this and I'm really excited. I hope to be able to update as regularly as I can and vent out my frustrations here as well as explain myself in a more verbal, free way.

Of course, this journal will not only be used for rants but for my thoughtd, my ideas and my writings. Hopefully I will be able to express myself eloquently.

I also hope to join many communities in here (and maybe even create my own) so if you have any to recommend to me, feel free, I'd love to hear from you!